Dear Marines & Nat’l Guard in LA: Disobey Unlawful Orders
An open letter to the troops from an Operation Enduring Freedom Veteran
- By Michael Shackelford, Funny Farm News
Stock image, US and California flags on flagpole
Dear Marines and National Guardsmen in Los Angeles,
I want to thank you for your service in Los Angeles. I know when you signed up to serve your country, you never imagined you’d be deployed to a strange land that weirdly and incorrectly puts “the” in front of freeway names. It’s super annoying, I know. Thoughts and prayers guys. Thoughts and prayers.
I was in the Navy on the USS Enterprise (CVN-65), and I was TAD to Security for a year and a half and was in Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Desert Fox during my four-year enlistment. I have a decent understanding of what you guys are going through in LA. At least I’m pretending I do in this letter.
Right now, you’re bored as Hell because you’re probably staying in some dumpy Days Inn out in Oxnard, because your moron admin officer can’t use Google Maps and wanted to save $3 a night on the hotel. So that’s a fun 1 ½ to 5-hour commute each way in the decommissioned school bus he rented for you.
Then you get to stand pointless watches in front of Hippies that haven’t bathed since the 1960s, and your school bus reeks of patchouli oil on your 5-hour commute back to your Home Sweet Days Inn Home. Then you eat In-N-Out every night for dinner—no judgement, Double Doubles Animal Style are amazing—and swiping right on Tinder in hopes of having a Hollywood Night. Fun times.
Your chain-of-command isn’t telling you much, because they don’t know what the Hell’s going on, either. You’re in LA because POTUS ordered you there. That’s all that matters to you, because your job is to follow orders. Even the dumb ones.
Before I get to the reason for this letter, I want to start by saying as clearly as possible, so that even those of you that got a Perfect 10—as in 10 out of 100—on the ASVAB will understand:
Do not take legal advice from a website called Funny Farm News!
That would be f#c&!ng stupid. Not drunk texting war plans to a reporter on Signal stupid, but still very f#c&!ng stupid.
When you joined the military you took an oath to uphold, support, and defend the Constitution of the United States. You did not take an oath to the leader of a political party.
Your allegiance is to the Constitution, the governing document of the United States. Think of the Constitution as the UCMJ for how the Federal and state governments work and how they work together. Dumb analogy, I know, but it works.
Whether you voted for Donald Trump or not, he’s POTUS and you must follow all LEGAL orders he gives, because he’s the commander in chief of the armed forces. Even the Space Force, which we all know is a joke.
You uphold your oath to the Constitution by following the LEGAL orders of your chain-of-command. And if you don’t, the UCMJ is there to fry your a$$. So far all this is stuff you know, even you ASVAB Waivers.
Here’s the First Amendment of the Constitution, which you’ve sworn to defend:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Those protestors in LA are not the enemy. They are Americans, just like you, and they are exercising their First Amendment rights under the Constitution which I bolded and italicized above.
The press is also NOT the enemy, despite what you’ve been told by the very top of your chain-of-command.
Right now, most Americans support the military. Even if they think your deployment to Los Angeles is wrong, they support you, because they know that the troops don’t call the shots.
Americans think you guys and gals are brave, and they’re thankful it’s your 🫏 on the line instead of theirs. They’d rather see you killed or blown up, lose an arm or a leg, and look really f#c&!ng ugly—worse than you do now—for the rest of your life, then have something like that happen to them or their kids.
So damn right they mean it when they walk up to you and say, “Thank you for your service.”
In the immortal words of Gen Z: 🇺🇸 ❤️ 🪖
Now, remember where I said taking legal advice from Funny Farm News would be really f#c&!ng stupid? Keep that in mind when you read this next sentence:
You have a moral and legal duty to disobey all UNLAWFUL orders.
ASVAB Waivers: Unlawful = Illegal
You are required to follow legal orders, and you’re required to disobey illegal orders.
What’s an unlawful order? Something you know for a fact is morally wrong. Something that Saint Peter will chew you’re a$$ out about when you get to the Pearly Gates. Something that would stop your Mother from loving you. We’re talking really, really bad here.
What would be an unlawful order? For starters, being ordered to open fire on protestors, even if some of them are throwing things at you. That would be an unlawful order.
ASVAB Waivers: Don’t shoot anyone!
Now, if one of you f#c&’s up and shoots someone, America’s lovefest with the troops will be over. Forever. 🇺🇸 💔 🪖
Remember Order 66 in Revenge of the Sith, when the Clone Troopers started blowing away Jedi, and they instantly went from good to bad guys? Well, if you guys blow away any protestors in LA, that’s how Americans will see the military. You’ll be the bad guys. The days of little kids smiling and waving to you when you’re wearing a uniform will be gone.
So, what should you do if a riot breaks out near you, and you’re ordered to fire on the crowd? DON’T DO IT!
Let the LAPD handle the crowd. Cops are trained for riot control, and you’re not. I know, I know, you’ve marched around in circles in a parade field for the helicopters. We’ve all seen it on TV.
Remember, there are hundreds of cameras in the crowd, so you won’t get away with beating the Hell out of someone, let alone shooting somebody.
If you NEED to do something against the crowd because it’s out of control and must act for your own safety or the safety of one of your buddies, DON’T HIT OR SHOOT ANYONE. Protect yourself and your buddies using the least amount of physical force possible.
But FFS, whatever you do, do not go all Blackhawk Down on the crowd.
DON’T DO THAT! THAT WOULD BE BAD!
🪖 💣 🪧 = 🪧☠️ = 🇺🇸 ☹️
Your purpose in the military is to kill people and break things. You will screw everything—literally and figuratively—up, except the job you signed up for. There’s a reason why when I was in the Navy we’d say we had to Sailor proof things, because if there is a way for a Sailor to f#c& something up, it will get f#c&^d up.
You know as well as I do, if the 💩 💥 the OnlyFans, and you guys are asked to break up a riot, it’ll get f#c&^d up.
Fun fact, during the Los Angeles Riots of 1992, active-duty Marines were deployed to assist the LAPD. In one notorious incident, cops were responding to a call, and someone inside the house blasted a shotgun through the front door. A cop said “Cover me” to the Marines, and the Marines blasted the Hell out of the house, firing around 200 bullets! Somehow nobody in the house died. Really. That’s straight Stormtrooper marksmanship right there.
In law enforcement, “cover me” means to take the safety off your gun and be ready to fire to protect another cop if necessary. In the military, “cover me” means to lay down suppressing fire, so the Marines did EXACTLY what they were trained to do.
Moral of the story: Don’t turn troops into cops because they aren’t trained for it. Guaranteed, bad 💩 will happen.
Now, once again, what do you do if you’re given an unlawful order?
DON’T DO IT!
Well done, you remember!
I ask that you research unlawful orders for yourself. This Reddit post is an excellent resource, with citations for each of the points. Please read it.
Pro tip: If you’re going to comment or post on Reddit or another social media site about ANYTHING you’re doing in Los Angeles, but especially an unlawful order, make sure to CYA.
1. Create a new email account with a fake name.
2. Create a NEW Reddit / social media account with that email.
3. Only use the fake email / Reddit / social media account to discuss your deployment to LA. Otherwise someone can figure out who you are and track you down.
If you have evidence of an unlawful order, you need to give it to a reporter that will treat you as an anonymous source and tell the country what is really going on in Los Angeles.
ASVAB Waivers: Anonymous = Secret
Pro Tip: Don’t reach out to Fox News and tell them you have evidence of unlawful orders being given in LA. Your moron SECDEF used to work there. Don’t trust Fox News.
Instead, look up local LA and national newspapers and TV stations that you like and trust. Then find the contact information for the prettiest reporter you can find—shoot your shot—and say that you have evidence of unlawful orders being given to the troops, but that you must be treated as an anonymous source. You can also follow the advice listed in the excellent Reddit post referenced above and again here.
To recap, if you’re ordered to fire on a crowd, DON’T DO IT!
Yes, you’ll get yelled at and have your a$$ chewed. Yes, you’ll be threatened with NJP and court martial.
But would you rather face NJP / court martial, or have your Mother stop loving you?
Stay safe out there.
Very Respectfully,
Michael Shackelford, OS2 (CIVLANTFLT), USN
